We are all made of stars

"Do you see it.....coming?" She asked him. Sitting at the edge of humanity, quite possibly even reality, staring at a world away just by a few million years, dented, punctured with the burst of gentle streaks of white light from the other side, he looked into her eyes and had the same feeling. He could feel it, a similar hope emerging out those black eyes, like a ray of light piercing his heart, his heart tearing apart, his soul screeching out aloud and all this happening in the very single moment. The moment of question, of glance, the moment of being away from reality. Pain was relieved with the silence and the darkness around. No one would hear him cry, no one would see him sad. And she.....she was like him. "No", he said. She turned away and he kept gazing at her face. Her face just lit up by those streaks of gentle white light when a star broke and he saw it travel across those numb eyes from one end across the other.

"How close is it from here to where we gonna go? They say when people go far.....really far.....they.....they become one of those". She looked back at him hoping to hear without him uttering a word, of course knowing that he won't. He got up, stretched out his arm, pointed towards it and said "from here.....I am exactly six feet closer to the stars."

10 miles from nowhere (An answer to questions left unanswered in the above)

They stood under drizzling rain, hidden by the cover of darkness, illuminated only by the remnants of fading moon behind the cover of clouds - clouds that had a silver lining around them. She turned to him and said "See the silver lining? Its like a ray of hope - behind the clouds there is a moon waiting to shine. Do you think that the moon will ever come out?".

He stared at her face for a long time, then turned towards the clouds and said "Why does it matter? We both know the moon is there." She turned away and kept staring at the sky, her tears shielded by the rain drops on her face, watching the sky grow darker as the moon was engulfed by thick clouds. She asked him "Where do you think the moon is?". He just smiled at her and said "Ten miles from nowhere".

The above words are by a very good friend...thank you Shaiz

10 kilometers of life

I don't know what it means when I call this blog 10 kilometers of life. But I would like to know. Perhaps even you do not know the answer to this and perhaps a hundred or maybe even a thousand more people who read this, do not know the answer. But does this make it invalid? Does it mean that it does not have an answer? Can it mean that I wanted to ask something else which had an answer, but asked something which doesn't? Can asking this question lead me to the other question that had the answer? Is the answer important at all, or is it just asking the question, right or wrong, answerable or unanswerable, that matters? Of all the things that I have known, and I have not known and those that I have wanted to know, have always had one thing in common. I.

As long as the question is about something that can be answered logically, the I does not matter.
But when I ask you something about your life, say something to which I don't quite agree with, something to which you may try really hard to explain to me, but you will not be able to, it is this something where I need to forget the I. It may be paradoxical to say so, but in order to really understand somethings it is really necessary to forget the I. Maybe this is what being self-less is being all about. Forgetting one self in trying to understand somethings. After all I am not talking (of) logic over here.

I don't quite remember what she said when I asked her "So....how many places have you been to?". But I do remember that she didn't say much and I do remember what she said towards the end. She said "So thats about it. Ever since I have been born I have been brought up here itself. The same 10 kilometers had my school, college, everything. Never really felt the need to be outside it".

I couldn't say or even ask her much then, just like I am not able to write now. I don't know where this blog is leading to right now. Trapped in this self of mine which makes the I, I don't know what to say or ask her. So I ask you...what do you mean by 10 kilometers of life?

Assumed reality

It’s time. It’s time I tell you the truth. The truth that lay buried within me, not wanting to escape, that lay behind the mask I wore all this while and the mask you were not able to uncover. It’s time I remove that mask and show it to you. No, I wasn’t lying when I said “believe me”, for you did need to believe me then. You needed to. I wasn’t hiding this from you. I didn’t want to tell this to you, partly because I myself was not prepared to admit it and partly I knew you couldn’t take it, just like you won’t be able to take it now. Yes I was scared, unprepared, but now I am and so are you. It’s the right time. The truth is, I, don’t exist. I don’t know you. I never was a friend of yours. I don’t care for you. Who are you? I never loved you. It doesn’t matter to me now and so it shouldn’t to you. I don’t exist, not like you. I assumed it. You assumed it.

It was the Assumed Reality. And now I am not a part of it. But here right now, I know I was wrong when I said “you won’t be able to take it”. I was wrong indeed. It was you who left me alone in this assumed reality, making me still love those moments that never existed. I was left alone inside with those moments that lost their value with time. Yes they did have value at some time, or at least I did assume that they did have. We both did. Even you did. But then you left. Without saying, without questioning you left and I was unaware. And now I had to come out of it. To come out of it and not say a word could have been easy for you. I am trying hard to make it easy for me also, but even in this assumed reality, what remains true is that I am alive or I was alive, with feelings, or at least I did have at some point of time, when it was all assumed. But not anymore, because now I don’t exist.